Monday, September 9, 2013
ARC Review: Out for Blood by Mike Walker
by Mike Walker
Expected publication: October 31st 2013 by The Writer's Coffee Shop Publishing House
The Writer's Coffee Shop Publishing House
My Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
**Review Based On ARC Provided By Publisher
National Revealer’s Clark Kelly carved out his killer career as Hollywood’s most-feared gossip columnist by exploiting mankind’s most ancient vulnerability:
“Everyone’s got a secret…and someone’s dying to tell it!”
Clark never reveals his to-die-for secret!
Dude’s a vampire!
CUE SCARY MUSIC …our undead gossip guru flies the night skies to spy on Hollywood’s hottest stars—then inks about their bedroom kinks! Imagine our studly, urbane journalist jotting notes as he hovers outside Scarlett Johansson’s bedroom window, or peeks into Tom Cruise’s “bachelor pad.”
This vampire BITES!
And what’s sexier than vampires, ladies? Just ask smokin’ hot starlet/tabloid terror TayLo Logan—this Wild Child gets crazy with badboy Clark because his bite makes her blood boil!
Then it’s LIGHTS…CAMERA… ACTION! …But not in a good way: Vampire Boy and Tabloid Train Wreck TayLo unwittingly end up stars of a sizzling sex tape—destined for worldwide display on the notorious vampire fan sex site, FANGBANGING.COM.
Still, the duo’s beyond-the-grave love story simmers away as Clark rips the lid off a murder coverup—then discovers a murderous plot against TayLo!
DANGER!! Can Clark stop a stalker who wants to drain his lover dry? Or wreak revenge on TinselTown billion-heiress Roma Kane for her poisonous plot to paralyze TayLo—and her career? Can he foil a murder cabal so evil it feeds stars’ pets to coyotes?
AND THEN…talk about the plot thickening! Roma’s billionaire granddaddy, mogul Montague Kane, taking a breather from the nymphet “nannies” paid to play his naughty high-chair games, springs a back-stab surprise—buying out Clark’s beloved National Revealer.
Suddenly, “deadline” takes on a whole new meaning
Triggered by vengeful fury, Clark goes “rogue vampire!”
Evil is punished…and the sun shines once more when he creates a Hollywood happy ending that makes everyone (undeads included) a STAR!
Hold the front page! Because Clark Kelly’s…
Out For Blood!
Good heavens! This was one fantastic and hilarious read!
The very first line in the Prelude got me hooked and laugh-bark out loud I embarrassed myself! Talk about Tom boy and yeah, the answer is: defo! whahahahaha
Color me surprised and happy! Out For Blood did not grant any excuse or mercy to the A Listers mentioned here - be they real, fantasy, or anonymous! There were even some personas mentioned that caught my attention for they were too familiar to me, especially when I checked the gossip columns online and in print, and yeah, they were there!
This is a book about Hollywood gossips going round and Mike Walker did not mince words. Even when at times he totally lost his political correctness, it still came out funny. From gossiping about the stars of Hollywood and their (??private and anonymous??) sex lives all the way to la loca's Rehab dates. It was one glorious entertainment.
I have heard thate old description of journalists being vultures-in-disguise so I absolutely loved the author's claiming paparazzis are, IN FACT, werewolves! They DO act like a rogue pack at times - all growling, salivating and rabid (complete with locked jaw symptoms) in their own sweet foe-tog way.
Clark is an old-world vampire, from his roots (trace back all the way to the Count folks) to the way he struts or glides into bedrooms. Reminded me a bit of how Frank Langella came into rooms, gracefully flicking his silken cape aside. Stylish. His fighting instincts and techniques. Bestial. Quite a juxtaposition but it worked.
I find myself surprised all the time. At the most unexpected of moments, I bark-laugh. Oh my. Then I realized: oh heck, he's in love with la loca!? Truth revealed, oh dear, truth revealed. Shaking head in surprise, disappointment, or is it admiration? I have no idea, but rest assured: me like!
Then a shift: shades of Love At First Bite: I love the night life.....I gotta boogie.....on the disco 'round....oh yeah!
I could go on and on but it would just spoil the whole book for those who have sadly not read this yet. Spoilers I have revealed, maybe, but take it this way: this was a fantastic, hilarious, bark-laugh-out-loud kinda book. And here I will stop and just plain enjoy.